THE DAY DAREDEVIL DIED
by Paul Pinsdorf
The day
Daredevil died is what today will be known as. Being the
world's deadliest assassin, I wouldn't normally take on a
low-level
superhero. I think Daredevil is good at what he does, but
I've fought the
Avengers single-handed. There is no way he is in my
league. I have no
superpowers, except one. I can watch someone perform a
task and copy it
exactly. I can only copy moves that I could physically
perform. For
instance, I can copy Spiderman doing a flip but not
climbing a wall. In
high school, I became the varsity starring quarterback
after watching one
profession game on a Sunday afternoon. It was then that I
realized I could
make a living with my ability to copy tasks. Hence, I became
an
assassin/mercenary, the Taskmaster. I fling a shield like
Captain America,
I shoot arrows like Hawkeye, and I throw a Billy club
just like Daredevil.
So when this guy, who goes by the name Mr. Tongue, offers
me a million
dollars to whack old hornhead, I jump at it. He tells me
that Daredevil was
given a tip that a certain cargo of drugs is being moved
at this dock at
midnight. It's 12a.m. and a freighter just docked. Two
guys are wheeling a
huge box off the freighter and two more are escorting
them, while holding
automatic weapons. I then see Daredevil make his move. He
takes them out
rather quickly. I have to admit he's good. As he is
examining the box I
make my move. Between the darkness and the element of
surprise, he doesn't
stand a chance. I approach him from the rear with my
Billy club in hand. I
get within range and throw it fast and hard, to the back
of his head. He
moves slightly before impact and the club grazes his
head. But he goes down
anyway. I approach him with my sword unsheathed, with the
intention of
killing him swiftly. I stand over the unconscious hero
and ready myself for
the killing blow. I raise my sword above my head and then
bring it down
with all my might. Daredevil quickly moves before impact and
does a double
kick from a handstand position, into my face. As I try to
retain balance,
he leg sweeps me, which causes me to lose my sword and
puts me on my back.
I roll up into a fighting stance and attack him with
moves of Bruce Lee and
Jackie Chan. He dodges my strikes and heads for the
shadows. He's running
because he knows that he is no match for me. Once I'm in
the shadows I lose
sight of him. In fact, I could barely see anything. I
feel a slight tap on
my shoulder. I turn and see a silhouette of Daredevil.
And then I see
nothing. I wake up inside a police station with handcuffs
on my wrists and
leg restraints on my ankles. He took me out like a third
rate thug. I have
to admit the guy's good.