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Items to keep in the Daredevil reboot.

 
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Stanley
Tree of Knowledge


Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 293
Location: Houston, TX.

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 3:18 pm    Post subject: Items to keep in the Daredevil reboot. Reply with quote

Since the writer of such cinematic triumphs as the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still (I was so riveted by the story, I had no time to pay attention to Jennifer Connelly) and The Last Castle (this, not Surviving Christmas, will be James Gandolfini's lasting contribution to pop culture, mark my words) is going to take a crack at showing us what's behind the Horned door, and he's OBVIOUSLY going to do a little google research and stop on this page, allow me to offer my suggestions on what elements from the first movie should ABSOLUTELY STAY when penning the new vision:

1) 10 solid minutes on the origin story.

MSJ really spoiled us here. I don't need a lot of BS about how his dad got murdered, or how it makes him feel. Boom, bullet hole in the face, get on with it. He's blind and he'll f*ck you up. Don't want him to stop your criminal ways? Don't shoot his dad.

Also, he's got superpowers. I don't need to know how they work. The explanation doesn't have to make sense. Just let me know that although he's blind, he's pretty much not blind. And he can not only smell what you had for lunch, but what you had for afternoon delight, too.

2) Matt beds everything that moves.

I can't stress this enough. In the words of Eddie Murphy, when horn-dog Matt "comes over to the house, the fish'll stop swimming". Only the idea of Matt being an easy lay competes with the idea that Peter Parker should always be single as far as ideas staggeringly integral to the work of comics and Joe Quesada's historic-yet-futuristic vision in general. There's no room for thoughts of serial monogamy or adult relationships--not when he should be laying the pipe.

Seriously, every woman in the movie should get HPV from Matt. Even the extras on the streets of New York. I want tons of PG sex and cuddling with no boobies shown.

3) Fight on a playground.

...because kids yelling really brings out the tension in the scene. Trust me, I've written a few screenplays myself. Only this time, during the fight, the bad guy should take a 7 year old girl, bash her head against a curb a few dozen times, and wipe the blood off on her Hannah Montana lunch pail.

Matt will be too busy to stop the bad guy; he'll be boning all the swooning teachers.

4) Flaming "DD".

I can't tell you how many times in my everyday life that I come across gasoline patterns just waiting to be ignited. No doubt the coolest one will always remain the "DD".

Leaving this in the new movie will be a subtle nod to MSJ's lasting contribution, a vision we should never forget and for which we should always be thankful.

5) Wire special effects.

When I think crime noir as translated from comics to film, I think of wire work where the characters jump and then don't follow laws of physics.

Oh, and if Elektra's in the movie, they should totally bone in midair.

6) Matt pretty much kills a guy.

Enough of this 'bleeding heart' crap. A good stance to take on the movie is that he should let bad guys die because he's better than the system he believes in.

In fact, maybe he can just walk in Fisk's office in the first 5 minutes of the film and shoot Kingpin in the face. TOTAL PLOT TWIST!

Of course, he then forces himself on a catatonic Vanessa. I mean, that's a given. Because if she was able to make the decision, she'd totally want to do him.

7) Lots of leather (on DD).

I know you don't make a lot of wardrobe decisions, but maybe you can integrate it into the script. "Hey, this leather really helped." Boom, done.

Nothing says 'I'm a hero you take seriously' like lots of leather. Just don't let him get caught in one of ~those~ clubs.

8) Ellen Pompeo as Karen Page.

I know you don't make casting decisions either, but this is a must. She can reprise her super-important cameo, only this time--you guessed it--she can be Matt's bed regular.

And if Ellen Pompeo is too young, maybe you can get Susan Sarandon. Because stringy hair and sharp cheekbones are so, so hot.

9) Bullseye without a costume but with a sweet forehead indentation.

I know what branding does to skin, and I know what knife slashes do to skin--but I think the moviegoing public would really benefit from exposition about how Bullseye gets a bullseye indented in his head.

Is it an ironic thing? Did it just happen to be a bullseye and that's how he got his name? Does he have to reapply any sort of makeup?

10) Ben Affleck.

He's an Oscar Winner. His acting's top notch. If you've got the pull at all, you've got to see if you can cast him.

One line from the original will remind you that he's the right man: "You killed...the only two people...I ever loved."

DRAMA! TEARS! REGRET!

BEN AFFLECK!!!

Seriously, get on the A-Train...suit his ass up in the leather. It worked the first time.



(If you really don't like any of these, I have one more recommendation: adhere to the Born Again narrative. Begin with a brief narration at the beginning bringing people up to speed about how he's currently an established superhero with a history and a main villain, and then start at page 1. Take out all Avenger references, make up a character to fill in the Captain America void, and BAM movie.)


Your friend,

New Stanley


Stanley has indeed written multiple (3) screenplays, but sadly has never helmed a comic adaptation. He understands that the job in Hollywood can be hard, especially when you have to write for executives who don't like to read whole sentences and would rather think about franchising opportunities for a franchise they already botched. He's a believer in the Daredevil tradition and thinks a good movie can be made. But if there's enough money in writing the script and directing it, he'd torpedo the source material too.
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The Man Without Fear
Flying Blind


Joined: 01 Jul 2008
Posts: 9
Location: Turlock, CA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is this a joke? Have you ever read the comics?

Oh by the way, Ben Affleck said before that he will never return in another Daredevil movie ever again. Just because he said it was "embarrassing". And honestly, they could get someone better than him for the next one.

And btw, I can tell this whole thread is a joke...just the way you typed that whole message gave it away.
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MarcWagz
Flying Blind


Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Posts: 83

PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

its obviously a joke lol.
soo obviously.
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The Man Without Fear
Flying Blind


Joined: 01 Jul 2008
Posts: 9
Location: Turlock, CA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarcWagz wrote:
its obviously a joke lol.
soo obviously.

Yeah. lol. Eh I feel dumb posting that message above, but oh well. Although sometimes these type of threads annoy me.
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edmundlaukm
Flying Blind


Joined: 08 Feb 2010
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Frankly, that sounds like just the type of movie I'll buy a ticket to watch! ;p

Problem was, they banned the DD movie here in Malaysia because they thought that the word "Devil" in the title would encourage local kids to become Satanists! (Also, "Hellboy" was renamed "Super Sapiens" before being allowed to be released in theatres! Words like "Devil" and "Hell" are not allowed here in Malaysia!)

Here's hoping for a really good DD movie otherwise the director and producers can all go to "Super Sapien" (otherwise known as "Hell" in all other parts of the world)... Smile

~ Edmund
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digodiego
Flying Blind


Joined: 03 Feb 2010
Posts: 19
Location: Madrid

PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 12:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm the only guy who thinks that leather suit is cool?
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Guardian-Devil
Tree of Knowledge


Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 256
Location: Greece

PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 5:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

digodiego wrote:
I'm the only guy who thinks that leather suit is cool?


No i'm with you on that one!! But it has to be a better suit than the first ome!!
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james castle
Devil in Cell-Block D


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 1999
Location: Toronto, Ontario

PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only thing Stanley forgot is a CG rat in the first few minutes. Nothing like openning a movie with unnecessary and crappy CG. Really gets you off on the right foot and lets the audience know what to expect.
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JC

So why can't you see the funny side?
Why aren't you laughing?
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rgj
Hardcore


Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 1580
Location: The Rio Grande Valley of Texas

PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a shame Black Widow is no longer available for a DD film.

Anyway, that's not why I'm here. I have just found out something that . . . get this . . . makes MSJ's Daredevil movie AMAZING! I know, I know, this can't be happening but, let me explain.

Okay, you've all heard the Wizard Of Oz/Dark Side of the Moon thing. You know, start the album when the MGM lion roars for the second time. Well, guess what? I've just discovered something incredible. Okay, at the beginning of the film, as Matt/DD falls onto the church's floor and the priest comes to him and there's this introspective close up of Matt's face as the audience is about to find out how Matt ended up there, . . . well, just at that moment loop the song Yakety Sax until the end of the film. Oh, man! What a ride!!
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rgj


Last edited by rgj on Sun Feb 14, 2010 1:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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Francesco
Underboss


Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 1307

PostPosted: Sat Feb 13, 2010 1:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Theatrical or DC?
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james castle
Devil in Cell-Block D


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 1999
Location: Toronto, Ontario

PostPosted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yakety Sax only works with the theatrical cut. For the DC you have to constantly loop Barbra Streisand's cover of "Moon River".
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JC

So why can't you see the funny side?
Why aren't you laughing?
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